As children grow and mature, society teaches them what is and is not acceptable for their genders. We learn that pink is for girls, blue is for boys, dolls are for girls, and trucks are for boys. Before we even realize the differences between genders, we are told which one we are and how we are expected to act. The earliest memory I have of learning these unwritten rules begins when I was about 5 years old and my brother was 9. Being a boy, my brother loved pirates and enjoyed pretending our house was a pirate ship. I watched him put on pirate costumes, hold a hook in his hand, and pretend to fight enemies. He was my role model at the time, and I aspired to be like him. I would try to do exactly as he did and put a pirate costume on. Although I found nothing but joy in it, my brother thought it was weird. He would tell me that girls aren't supposed to be pirates, and that a princess was a better idea for me to be. I listened to my older brother because he knew better; I followed the gender stereotype because I thought it was the right thing to do.
It sounds like your brother already was told "boys play the pirate role and girls play the princess role." You should have stayed playing pirate role since you enjoyed it. Not everyone has to be a princess, they can be whomever they want to be.
ReplyDeleteIt is really sad that your brother wouldn't let you dress up as a pirate. I'm sure you looked up to him as do I with my sister, and that's why it must have been hard for you when he told you not to be like him.
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